What Code Do You Live By?

To anyone who has been around me and felt that I've been "off," my sincere apologies.

I have been in a weird place the last couple weeks.  I have over-analyzed others and second-guessed myself.  I have been lonely in a crowd and it showed.  I have been lazy with sadness and it hurts my productivity.  I have been frustrated with negative results of positive effort.  I have been disconnected from me.  And why?  Hell if I know.  But hey, that's the good thing about doing a post.  It can sometimes be cathartic.  So bear with me and maybe it'll be helpful for you too someday.

I've taken my jumbled thoughts and feelings and got back to journaling the past few days.  I used to write about everything everyday.  Then life blew up and I got away from it.  Focused on business and growing people around me in their businesses.  One thing I've come to realize.  There's a reason God took a day off.  Not because HE needed it - He IS God.  But because WE need it.  He led by example.  One that I felt I just didn't need.  And now it's catching up with me in a big way.  I've become my own worst nightmare - bitchy and unproductive.

Now, before any of you try to shower me with "you're Wonder Woman, you got this" kind of stuff, know that I have been telling myself that for days now.  But I'm here to tell ya', even Wonder Woman got her ass kicked every once in awhile.  She had to re-group on Paradise Island to heal, gather an army of Amazon warriors, and head back into battle another day.  THAT's where I am now.  Healing.  As best I know how. One step at a time.

The first step for me was to get to the root of my issue.  I know what that is, to prove I'm even worthy to exist.  That's why getting ignored is so hurtful and not accomplishing things is unacceptable.  Being responsible for myself is a big deal too, not to be reliant on others as a charity case.  The next was to do some simple self-assessing.  Using the same tools I use with my clients: personality, core values, life wheel, and others, I wrote it all out and compared to the same assessments I did at the first of the year.  Not much had changed.  Good in the sense I was still confident in who I was and what I was about, but not good in the sense of not seeing positive forward-moving results for myself in my life wheel vision.  I'm bummed.  And I've been second-guessing myself all week.  But here's another thing I realized.  I've not been living by the code.

This was from Jesus (Luke 10:27).  It's also in the Old Testament in Deuteronomy.  Notice - love GOD with everything, love your neighbor AS YOURSELF.  That "as yourself" part is harder than it sounds for someone like me.  I'm confident in who I am, what I can do, and that I can get shit done --- for everyone else.  I do love God.  I do love people.  But I don't really love myself.  That has to change.  If I change that, my life wheel vision will come true.  Love is action, it's a code to live by.  

Then I got to thinking about another other codes that is just extensions of this:

The Cowboy Code

THEN...I thought of one of my favorites on my virtual "cabinet of advisers."  Gibbs.  Not necessarily an extension of Luke 10:27, but some pretty darn good things to think about.

And now I'm coming to a realization that I will always have a fight on my hands BECAUSE I have a code to live by.  There will always be those who want to stand in the way of peace.  Peace in the world around me, peace in others' minds and hearts, and peace in my own self.  I will fight on. I know who I am, what I stand for, and there are others counting on me to live that out. That's what I'm going to believe anyway, so just go with me on it...lol. 

If you've gotten this far in my ramblings, thank you.  Thank you for sharing your time with me :-).  NOW it's ok to tell me "You're Wonder Woman, you got this!"

Something To Live For

A friend of mine, Kevin, has been in the hospital for over 100 days now.  I visited last week when he was still in ICU and again today in a real room.  I'm proud of him.  In his own words, "I'm a warrior."  Yes.  He is.  The hospital stay isn't the only thing he's overcoming.  His wife passed away right before all the hospital adventure began.  He didn't even get to go to her funeral.  But he's fighting on.  When I saw him today, all wired-up with IVs and the trach and monitors and dialysis machine, holding up his hand, the first finger and thumb an inch apart, he tells me he's "this far" from getting to the rehab center.  He's a warrior.

When I leave him I think, "What makes him fight so much?  Why keep going?"  Then I remember his face lit up when he talked about his kids and how amazing his mom and aunt have been.  He's got plans to do great things with them.  His life has changed in a heartbeat - literally.  And he's ready to be changed.  I'm super proud of my friend.

He has something to live for.  His something isn't some THING...it's a few SOMEONEs...  

Do you have something or someone to live for?  I'm asking myself that question right now.

Being Super - Beginning Thoughts

When I first said I was going to write this book, I was excited and overwhelmed with thoughts of what to include, how to arrange it, how to make it relevant, and write it in such a way the reader WANTS to read it.  Then stuff happens to get in the way of making time to sit and put my thoughts to written word.  Stuff I'm sure you, as the reader, have never been through:

• Family drama
• Financial trials
• Feelings of betrayal
• Change of residence
• Loss of loved ones
• Relationship challenges
• Being abandoned by friends
• Health issues
• Times of depression
• Technical difficulties
• Identity crisis
• Moments when the world just crashes in on you all at once...

     Oh wait, that's right.  You're human, too!  You've had these things happen just like me.  Challenges provide the contrast in our personal painting of life.  But it takes an intentionality on our part to see the beauty that is our lives.  Unless we take a whole picture view, we can sometimes get caught up in the fire that we're trying to put out.  And even in the midst of those moments, we sometimes ask ourselves, "Why can't I get anything accomplished?"  

     I've always wanted to be that person that creates and accomplishes something so unique and great that it changes the world. Like Mother Teresa loving the lepers, Nelson Mandela changing a culture, Steve Jobs leading the movement to mesh creativity with technology, Zig Ziglar motivating the masses to "take it to the top," Condoleeza Rice helping women in the U.S. change the face of modern politics, Stan Lee creating heroes to thrill and inspire generations, Melinda Gates giving billions of dollars to philanthropy efforts, even Queen Elizabeth II who has stood as a pillar of strength, grace, and wisdom through an amazing amount of traumatic events.  The list goes on and on.  I still want to be like them - world changers.  What I've come to realize that is that I am a world changer - by changing the world around me.  Start where I am - with me.  Those small changes have a ripple effect into other people's "worlds."  And one day, it can have an affect across the world.   

     When I decided to make a career out of executive coaching, because I had a knack for it, I decided to get some real training to be truly effective.  The training process included going through a lot of tools that a coach can use to get a client to open up and see the questions - and the answers - from the inside-out of what makes them "tick" or hold back from moving forward on their goals or any number of things. Through that training process, I learned a lot more about myself.  I became stronger in my self identity and learned what I wanted to accept and what I didn't.

     It's mind-blowing how intricately made we are as humans.  The biology alone is fascinating.  But think about how we THINK.  The process our brains go through.  The dreams we have while asleep and awake.  The imagination and creativity.  The memories.  The feelings that happen from moments.  The fact that a smell or song can rush our mind's eye back a point in time we either cherish or hoped we had forgotten.  It's awe-inspiring.  And yet, many of us don't use what we have to our advantage.  Many have never even taken inventory of what they have to know what to do with it.  Thus, the major element of friction in not getting anything accomplished.

     It's in helping people discover their "inventory" and use what they find to accomplish their "great thing" that I find joy and accomplishment.  

     This book, Being Super, was born out of the passion to want to help people do a personal inventory, be strong in who they are, find their "WHY" and passion for their life's purpose, and then inspire and motivate to go out and accomplish their great things.  Now, let's face it, I am not a world political leader, a multi-gazillion-heiress, a selfless guru living off the land in chains, a missionary to cannibals, an evangelist to the masses, a Fortune 10 CEO, or a genius entertainment executive.  I am a God-fearing, strong-willed, knowledge-loving, lesson-sharing, (and a long list of other adjectives), survivor who believes Being Super is not just for the "top 10's."  

     Being Super is about staying true to yourself while in the process of accomplishing your great thing.  That's why the title reads "Being."  Not "been."  Not "going to be."  But "Being."   

     There are times that I agonize about what I would include in this book.  The process of thinking about it rips me to the core enough that I start crying and have to stop writing.  This is one of the most painful projects I have worked on to accomplish.  "Why?" you may ask.  Because, to share with you lessons I've learned, there are some that I would rather not re-live.  Yet if I don't, you won't get a complete picture.  Remember, part of the beauty of the whole picture is the contrast.  And we all have contrast.  

     What will it be like to read Being Super? Imagine yourself the hero of your story, because you are.  It'll be like watching your favorite hero movie with breaking in to see what makes those moments of decision and action so impactful.  Tools will be shared to help you discover your inventory.  There will be Super Snippets of people who are Being Super now that will give you inspiration to dream big.  You'll read moments of motivation to help you take action. And ultimately, you'll BE your own kind of super while accomplishing your great thing.