I have been in a funk lately. Chalk it up to hormones, burn out, whatever...but I've been in a funk. Ever get that way? Ever tell yourself, "Nothing's going right. I'm being punished. Why even bother? Why does that person get amazing things to happen and I'm stuck here?" Any of those ring a bell?
Here's the kicker. Sometimes it's not as easy as "just get over it." Sometimes...Sometimes you have to go through it to see the light. Like my issues with getting and keeping a guy around.
I've been having guy troubles my whole life. I was married once, for two years. That was 15 years ago. Ever since then, I've still had guy issues. I have had some doozies. None have wanted to share a life adventure with me. Was it timing? Were they too broken themselves? Could they not handle a strong woman? Am I too fat? Am I too smart? Am I too nice? Am I horrible at choosing guys? Yep. Yep to all of the above.
When my funky fog started to lift this weekend I went to work immediately on using my self awareness/assessment tools. Starting with the classic life wheel. It's a great start to assess satisfaction levels in different areas of life. It was no surprise that one of my lowest areas was "intimate relationships." I have guy issues. But that's not what I realized. I realized that the lowest areas of my wheel were getting the most of my energy. The squeaky wheel scenario was draining me.
So I continued on with my work. A vision of what I want things to look like, actions needed to get me there, and characteristics I need to be to accomplish what lies before me.
The solution to my guy issues? Commit to a better, more complete, me. The best guy will come along. If God is guiding me through this kind of growth, no telling what He's putting HIM through!
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