Wednesday, May 30, 2018 1 comments

According to the Quiz, I'm Depressed

So my friend gives me her extra copy of Good Housekeeping.  I'm thumbing through all the ads to get to an article that caught my eye, "No One Would Ever Call Me Depressed."  

The article had a feature picture of a laughing, happy, full-of-life Meg D'Incecco of New York City that makes you just want to hang out with her and get her to laugh more.  She shares her story that sounded very familiar to my own.  Lots of great things going on, nothing that should CAUSE depression, but on the inside the dark moods are always lingering.  Meg tells the interviewer, "A mean voice played loudly in my head telling me that I wasn't worthy, that I didn't know what I was doing professionally, that I was as fat as a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon...I'd chat with someone and then be immediately filled with self-doubt, picturing the other person walking away thinking I was an overbearing freak."

I've said almost exactly the same things to myself, and worse.

Then I get to the quiz.  

And I'll be damned, I checked off most of these.  Should I be worried?  No.  For me, this is nothing new.  I know how to manage and I have already been working on incorporating more self-care in my life to break some bad habits and negative cycles to live a life that energizes ME.

If you're reading this, and you have checked most of the symptoms - consult a therapist.  And then interview a good one for YOU to work through any issues that can help lighten your load.  If medication is necessary, do it.  Medication does not define you, neither does depression.  YOU determine what defines you.  And know, it's a process that takes time.

My own dark moods do not define me, it's just an experience I go through. Too often for my liking. And it takes me allowing myself the time necessary to shut down for a spell, stay away from situations I know will affect me negatively, to put myself in environments that energize me, and I'm still learning to do it all regardless of what other people think.  Even if I need to take a nap in the middle of the day to give my body what it needs.

So as I move forward with growing my business, my darkness may be there with me.  But I know over time through work, change, and patience, my light will be so bright there will no more room for darkness.