This personal journey of mine can wear me out. I get lonely. I'll admit it. I've questioned if I'm having any positive impact on the world. Does the work I do make a difference? Do I make a difference? Do the dreams and goals I have matter? Am I really helping anyone? Am I needing validation or an ego stroke? Or do I just need to find a measurement of effectiveness? Is it negative to think these thoughts? Or do I just need to process where I am and find my direction again?
As I've posted before, I've been reading the graphic novel, Superman Grounded. It's very well written. And I have been moved to tears seeing the images and reading the thoughts of the "world's greatest hero." Those thoughts are a lot like mine have been. His journey takes him on foot across America. At one point, Batman shows up to try to convince him that walking to connect to people is not "doing them any favors." Batman goes on to tell Superman after explaining the middle of Main Street, U.S.A. is not the place for a fight with Brainiac, "The world of suburban streets, and neighborhood diners, and front porches...that isn't our world, Superman. Not anymore. We can't live there. Not just because it endangers us, but because it puts them at risk. All of them. The isolation we endure is the price we pay for what we do. You can't go home again. Because when we walk into OUR world...we walk out of THEIRS. Forever."
I don't think Superman agreed with Batman, because he kept walking. He continued his journey. To find his own answers to questions like, "Does it matter?"
Enter another moment where out of nowhere (a time portal - really) a few heroes clad in Superman-similar costumes greet Superman and convince him to join them. To get a glimpse of the impact he has in the future. Where there are "Supermen" and "Superwomen" all over the universe. There's even a Super Gorilla and a Super Solar System and let's not forget the single-celled SuperCilia. Not only does Superman see what his ideals and actions have inspired, he sees how they all come together. It's not just a Fortress of Solitude. It's the Fortress of Solidarity. No more being alone. No more wondering if what he does makes a difference. He was given that rare gift of KNOWING. The question of "must there be a Superman?" was clear...YES.
I don't have a graphic novelist writing my story to give me a glimpse into the future. I DO have faith in the One who wrote my story long before I was born. Superman's story has been inspiring for me. So has the Old Testament's Shepherd-turned-Warrior-turned-King David. The Psalms, most of which were written by David, are full of questioning. Questioning himself, questioning God. Lamenting situations. Pouring his whole heart out for God to give him a peace that surpasses understanding. And I do the same on my journey.
I don't have all the answers yet. And my direction is not as clear as I'd like it to be, but I've learned to focus on my most excellent process and let God take care of the results. I strive to do good in the world - to have a positive effect on the world around me. And when all is said and done, how could I not believe that matters.
I don't suppose you've ever questioned? ...